I’m a world-class procrastinator. I never do anything now that I could possibly do later, and when later comes, I usually still don’t do it because, hey, there’s always tomorrow.

I started counting how many times this cursed tendency of mine has gotten me into knee-deep trouble, but it was too complicated, so I decided to do it some other time. The surprising thing is that you would expect I would, I don’t know, learn my lesson, but no. No lessons learned whatsoever.

There is one place, and one place only, where my procrastination saves me a lot of trouble. My kids. All those dreaded kids-related struggles - weaning, potty training, eating properly - I just… don’t do it. Or at lease don’t do it when everybody else does. Each time, I know I should start tackling the subject months before I gather enough mental energy to actually do it. In the mean time, between the time I start thinking about it and the time I actually do it, I need to ignore many comments of the “Why is he still breastfeeding?” or “Is he still wearing a diaper?”, and let’s not forget the cherished “why doesn’t he eat vegetables?” variety. I’m a real good ignorer. (You can’t be a world-class procrastinator without some mad ignoring skillz.)

The magic is that by the time I’m ready to start the struggle - get that diaper off, reclaim my boobs - my kid is ready. I don’t need to fight them too hard, neither of us gets too frustrated for too long, it just works.

Don’t hate me now, it’s not like there’s no struggle at all. Took Ulysses almost 3 weeks and ENDLESS piles of laundry to potty train, but I have a feeling it could have been a lot worse had I done it when he was two (when my MIL, for one, thought I should start) and not when he was almost three.

Yes, my friends, procrastination is going to be the new thing in parenting. Remember where you read it first. And when my book, Kids For Dummies - The Lazy Approach comes out, don’t forget to recommend it to your friends.

Oh, and I’m still waiting on the vegetables struggle. Maybe I’ll have a little talk with Ulysses about it. When he’s 20.

Photo credit: Ann Marie

potty, training, weaning, procrastination