Babyfy Blog

Tips for the newborn days

It's a Mum's Life — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 21:05:22 +0000

I went to see my gorgeous new nephew the other day. He was only a few days old but the new mum and dad seemed to be coping well and were really quite relaxed.
I had to hold myself back though to avoid bombarding them with advice – when you are a first-time parent everyone from the mother-in-law to the checkout lady at the supermarke provides their two-penneth about what you are doing wrong/ what you are doing right/ what you shouldn’t be doing, and it can be both overwhelming and irritating.
That said, I just couldn’t help but suggest a couple of tips for those bleary newborn days and then decided to gather a few of my favourites up and share them on here….you might find them utterly useless but here goes!
It’s a mum’s life’s top tips for the newborn days:
1. Limit the number of visitors in the first few weeks so you can get a nap in the day time if needed – and encourage anyone who can come during the week to do so, so that weekends are kept for those who work Monday to Friday.
2. When changing poopy nappies- and believe me these come thick and fast in the early weeks when newborns are little poo machines – stretch the nappy bag over an empty margarine tub or wipes tub, so that it’s nice and open. Then when you put the offensive dirty wipes and nappy into the bag, poo doesn’t end up all over the place. Makes it much less fiddly.
3. Be totally boring at night time during feeds so that junior realises as early as possible that night is for sleeping and day is for playing. I never found this difficult as the last thing I felt like doing at a 4am feed was making conversation. And frankly I’m pretty boring at any time of day anyway.
4. Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing as we are all told over and over again by all and sundry but heck if you find you can’t do it, for whatever reason, and have sought help and still can’t, stop. Don’t make yourself miserable over it.
5. Expressing milk makes you feel like a cow in a dairy – it’s totally undignified – possibly even more so than giving birth. I have no advice to help with this other than perhaps to not do it in front of your partner if you still want him to fancy you – but just wanted to warn you.
6. Do not under any circumstances get into the ‘I’m more tired than you’ marital contest. You are both probably incredibly tired but arguing over which of you is the more incredibly tired isn’t going to achieve anything apart from possibly making you more exhausted still.
7. Ignore any unwanted/ irritating/ confusing/ stupid advice from others on how to bring up your child (possibly even this)….that’s certainly what I advised the parents of my new nephew to do the other day anyway….

Not such a little man already

It's a Mum's Life — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 20:59:23 +0000

Well TLM and I did a very grown-up thing yesterday – we walked up to the High Road without a pushchair – he is only just two and it’s maybe two-thirds of a mile each way – and sat at a pavement cafe supping a mango smoothie together and watching the world go by.
Several times recently I’ve looked at him and thought the clichéd thought ‘where’s my baby gone?’ – he just seems so grown-up – quite the little boy. In fact sometimes he really does seem to have such an old head on his toddler sized shoulders – he is wonderfully tidy (if he changes the CD on the stereo he always puts the old one back in its case!) and mostly remarkably sensible.
But then little things remind me he IS indeed still only a toddler – the sight of him wrapped up in his cot clutching his beloved teddy bear, the wonder on his face when he sees something really quite everyday to us grown-ups and oh, the strops he has if he doesn’t get his own way….

Time flies when you really are having fun

It's a Mum's Life — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 12:47:52 +0000

I can’t believe my ‘baby’ is two already. It feels like he has been with us forever yet it also feels like the blink of an eye and that only yesterday he was a newborn with a cry like a mewing kitten rather than the full blown screaming banshee that he can, on occasions, be now.

Of course, his second birthday also means we have been parents for two years. Our lives have changed beyond recognition. Yes we miss the Sunday lie-ins, the lounging around with the newspapers, the hours of free time that you don’t appreciate you had until after you have children.
But both small and large things make up for this in infinitely more than equal measure. The smile he gives us when we go in to wake him up first thing in the morning and the sight of him sleeping when we go in last thing at night, the sound of him laughing, the immense wonder he has at everyday things and his quirky little fascinations (currently wheelie bins and skips are top of the list).

I remember a parent I know saying (well about a hundred people I know told me this actually) that it is hard work being a parent but absolutely worth it. Very clichéd but oh so true.

Hounded out

It's a Mum's Life — Fri, 04 May 2007 23:00:56 +0000

TLM and I were hounded out of a coffee shop today. Ok, so no one threw stones at us, or biscotti or choc chip muffins or whatever people in Starbucks would throw if they were forcing someone to abandon their half drunk, half shot, tall skinny latte and run. In fact no one even told us to leave. But they might as well have done. Every time TLM shrieked – TLM lets out piercingly loud screams when he doesn’t get his own way– the other customers gave us looks so filthy that even a dose of Napisan wouldn’t clean them up.

There was the man quietly (well, quietly ‘til we rocked up) reading a book. The depressed looking young couple – she was all smiles at TLM when we first walked in and TLM was giggling and flirting with her but when he started yelping boy did her attitude change.

The lady at the next table with her daughter of perhaps eight or nine, at least seemed vaguely sympathetic. The thing is she has probably been there, done that and experienced the annoyed stares, and her children aren’t so old that she has forgotten what it feels like.

This all reminded me of an incident when TLM was even smaller – perhaps a month or two old. I was in a restaurant with my friend Amanda and her lovely little girl, a similar age to TLM. Both babies were supremely well behaved and really very quiet. But obviously not quiet enough the grumpy chap at the next table.

Around TLM’s feeding time, TLM started to cry for his milk - I was preparing his bottle there was little I could do to stop him. It wasn’t even particularly loud - nothing like the scale of his current, toddler level scream (trust me, crying newborns sound like cute mewing kittens in comparison).

Anyway, when he started up, grumpy git gave us disapproving stares and then said in a very cutting manner: ‘if I’d wanted to have lunch in a kindergarten I’d have done so’.

I admit the restaurant concerned wasn’t really of the child-friendly variety and the crying probably did interrupt his conversation for all of a minute or two but nor was this place exactly Gordon Ramsay.

I was pretty flabbergasted but luckily Amanda is a bit gutsier and gave him what for.

After months of this kind of thing happening on and off in cafes and restaurants, not to name trains, shops etc. maybe I should have learnt to stand firm and assert my right to be somewhere, crying, screaming child and all. But no, what did I do in Starbucks today? I put TLM’s coat on, strapped him in his pram, had one last rushed gulp of my unfinished latte and left as quickly as I could.

The joy of second hand baby kit

It's a Mum's Life — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 22:40:57 +0000

I’m no skinflint and I’m not particularly hard up. I wouldn’t dream of buying second hand clothes (I’m not stylish enough to be one of those women who dresses in ‘vintage finds’ from charity stores – I’d probably get it horribly wrong and end up looking like I was wearing one of Ugly Betty’s outfits).

So if second hand isn’t good enough for me then why is it ok for my son – who after all is way more important to me than me? Yes, prior to TLM’s much awaited arrival I wouldn’t have thought I’d be so happy to stick him in a second hand outfit/ pram/ cot but believe me I so am. Ok, I’ve not taken to rummaging around in charity shops but if a friend offers me a stylish hand me down coat in TLM’s tiny size, I’ll snatch it out of their hands before you can say Timberland (or Ralph Lauren or Paul Smith to name but a few of the brands we have acquired kit from in this way).

The primary reason being – and it’s a fairly obvious one when you’ve got a baby in the house – they grow so very quickly – spend £40 on a swanky designer t-shirt (imagine how much that is per square centimetre?) and it’ll only be worn a handful of times so what is the point. So accept kind offers of good quality used baby gear I say! Think of it another way – anything you save on buying new, you can spend on something else – like that facial for yourself. Mummy will be happy and have glowing skin and it’s not like your 9 month old is going to get a complex about wearing a hand me down.

babies, baby, parenting