I have two questions, the first; did they need a survey for that? Haven’t they ever been with baby and toddlers? Haven’t they seen those ESDs (energy sucking devices AKA your children) to know it killing any chance of spending quality time with your spouse?

The second question is, 15 minutes, that long? And quality? Usually it is just letting out steam at each other.

Now seriously, I love my girls, they are the most amazing things on the face of this earth, really are. However, they are ESD, energy sucking devices, they want all of you, all of the time, and that can be very taxing, personally and also on you and your partner, as a couple.

That way, maintaining a relatively strict sleeping routine is important, both for parents and children. The bottom line is that children need there 11 – 12 hours a night. The bottom line is that parents need their time off. Those two can work perfectly together.

Here is how things work at the Pollak household:

17.30 Supper time
18.15 Bath time
18.45 TV / Book reading time
19.30 – 20.00 Bedtime.
20.01 Bottle of wine is opened.
20.02 Parents chilling out.

We tried to implement this routine since the girls were born, must say it wasn’t as smooth as it is now, but from relatively early age (around 7 month) we, as parents had our quiet time, having dinner together, watching TV and basically slowly fading out.
So, if you having trouble with your little ESD‘s sleep routine, try following the advice of Andrea Grace, our sleep expert, we have, and it worked for us.

Here’s the setup: A., me and kids are coming back from our morning walk outside. I am carrying Ulysses’s bike with a front wheel full of the nastiest dog poo you can imagine. The Dandelion has just decided to start an impromptu potty training 15 minutes ago and took off his diaper.

At the entrance to the building we meet our neighbor, a new father to a 2 weeks old baby girl. He is in his sweats, pale, looking just a little better than what is currently dripping from Ulysses’s bike’s front wheel. He sees us, and get this expression on his face that is somewhere between an immense relief and a plea for help.

“Say” he says, “what on earth do you do when the baby doesn’t sleep AT ALL?” “She doesn’t sleep at all?” we ask, “No she doesn’t. We think it’s gas.”

You know me, I immediately assume full parental-guide veteran-mother-of-two been-there-done-that position and start talking to him about breastfeeding, and positions, and nutrition, all the while promising him that it gets better, really it does.

While I’m in full mambo-jumbo mode, I catch out of the corner of my eye A.’s face, and he is starting to get this incredulous look on it. So I stop and I turn to him, to see what’s it about. A. takes advantage of this momentary pause, faces our neighbor and says: “She is standing here with a smelly, nasty, poo dripping toy that she just carried for 8 blocks, and I, well I just got peed on. I don’t know what to tell you dude, but getting better? That’s a bit of an overstatement.”

Then we both collapsed on the ground laughing and our poor neighbor went back upstairs, presumably to write his “Good Bye Cruel World” letter.

But being a father of two amazing girls changed all of that, I have realized that being healthy and leading a healthy life style is important and essential, and that it is one of the most important values I can install to my children. I assume that for each of us there is a different trigger to the change of perspective. For me it was my desire to be fit, so I can be active (mainly skiing) with my daughters in 20 years time, once the fitness kicked in, I became aware of what I eat and consume and how does it influence my health.

Then, (what a surprise) the penny dropped and I understood that it is important for that my family is healthy, that we eat good, healthy, nutritious and mainly organic food and that we do not consume too many chemicals or food additives. I also believe that if your children see that exercise and sport is part of their parent’s routine, they will grow up to be active individuals.

Being aware is 50% of the whole thing, you don’t have to be a fanatic, just think before giving your children any junk food, or eating it yourself, as it always happen, they do not finish the bag of crisps, chocolate, whatever and you end up eating it…

As always, I am being late and behind the curve… it seems to be that health and life style are the hottest topics in the world today, Newsweek magazine just did a cover story about fertility and health, following a comprehensive research by researchers from Harvard University.

This is an excellent opportunity to recommend the blog of Melinda Nicci, our antenatal and post natal fitness and nutrition expert. Melinda is passionate about the subject, and in her blog she will cover a wide verity of issues concerning health, fitness and life style.

Our friend came to visit yesterday with her 6 weeks old baby girl. Our friend is a new mom with a tendency to “crunchiness”, mid-thirties, free spirit, lived all around the world, did some crazy things in her days, a sort of an avantgarde performance artist and a totally cool person in all respects.

And she’s driven insane by her mom and her advices.

“The baby isn’t dressed warm enough”, “Why does she sleep in your bed?” “Why don’t you have a regular feeding schedule? It’s not good for her to eat whenever.” You get the picture, I’m sure.

Funny thing, advice. We need it - as new parents, we crave it. We go to baby manuals and baby sites and mommy blogs and look for support and wisdom. But when it comes unsolicited, or maybe even just in a tone or manner we don’t feel comfortable with, it hurts us. It insults us. It’s perceived as criticism of our parenting.

Sometime it is criticisms, but not as often I think. I think the problem lies with the inherent vulnerability of new parenthood. Here you are, endowed with this enormous responsibility you’re not necessarily prepared for, and you can be pretty lost. Still, it’s something that you need to do, it’s your thing, and you want to do it your way, even thought you don’t always know exactly what it is.

When Ulysses was born I was as much of a novice as anybody else. I was receiving advice from EVERYBODY. Heck, my MIL and mom spent about two hours discussing the exact qualities my baby dresser should have. At some point, when it started to get to me, I decided to take a stand and simply… ignore it.

I had a line I used to deliver whenever some unsolicited advice came my way: “This baby is not a democratic regime. It’s a dictatorship and we [meaning, me and A.] are the sole rulers.” And it really helped me both in making sense in my mind about things and in calmly accepting the advices that were less than welcomed.

My point is, (yes, there is, surprisingly enough, a point), most if not all advice-givers are well-meaning. The one good advice you need in order to make it easier to either receive advice or ignore it is to remember one simple truth: you are a good parent.

Photo credit:Laughlin Elkind

1.10, you confuse me.

I know, I know, I should be prepared. It’s not like 4.0 wasn’t 1.10 a few short years ago. Still, you perplex me.

You wake up in the middle of the night every night. What gives? Five months ago you were already sleeping through the night, and now all of a sudden it’s no good for you? You won’t go to sleep unless I’m there, which is just too cruel a trick to play on me after being the easiest kid to put to bed ever since you were 6 months old.

You won’t shower, because you don’t want to take your clothes off. Every evening when it’s shower-time, we go through a screamfest until you are willing to be separated from your dirty clothes. Then you are happy as a button.

You won’t eat anything healthy, while a mere three months ago you were voluntarily consuming vegetables. The healthiest thing you are willing to eat nowadays are fruits, but mostly it’s chocolate, cookies and some more chocolate. I dig you 1.10, I really do. Chocolate is my favorite food too, but in the name of all that is holly, you were eating fresh fish at 9 months. WHAT HAPPENED?

You understand everything I say to you, but have yet to acquire the willingness to comply. It’s maddening really, your ability to look me in the eyes, grinning devilishly, and blatantly ignore me.

This playing with my mind has got to stop, 1.10. It’s hard enough to keep a straight face long enough so you’ll get the message that what you’re doing is wrong, the mind games are really just… too much.

And you know what the best news are? Only two months left until Terrible Two begins.

If you need be I’ll be crying in the bathroom.

*with regards to Alice.

When I was about 15 I had a really bad fight with my boyfriend. It was the worst fight we had in the entire two years of our relationship. I don’t really remember the details, but I remember we didn’t talk for a few days and I remember that I was very distressed and upset over it, as any desperatly-in-love fifteen years old should be when she has a fight with her boyfriend.

After those few days of silence we found ourselves sitting in his car, shouting at each other and trying to figure this thing out. What upset me the most was that I couldn’t understand why it was such an intense situation, it didn’t make sense to me. I couldn’t put my finger on anything I have done or not done that should have made Boyfriend angry to that extent. Logical girl that I am I was trying to understand from him what had happened, and through a none-too-coherent string of explanations and accusations I suddenly realized it had nothing to do with me.

It turned out something happened to him, that had no connection to me and he was very angry and upset and almost traumatized by it. And he was getting it all out by fighting with me. That moment, when it dawned on me what the problem was I was torn between two contradicting impulses: my anger at him that was still very much present, and the an instant sense of compassion for him and his pain and my need to comfort him and make it go away, because I love him.

Why am I telling you this? (”Why is she talking about her old boyfriend and all?” asks A. while trying to not grit his teeth too laudly.) I’m telling you this because that conflict between anger and compassion is coming back with a vengeance. Ulysses has a knack for making me go absolutely insane within milliseconds. Then I will be angry at him. Then he will break down and sob miserably. Then I will remember that he’s acting like that because he has some hardship that he is unable to express. Then I will collect him from his puddle on the floor and comfort him and try to understand what the problem really is.

That moment, when my view is instantaneously shifting, I am able to really feel his pain through the layers of my own anger, tiredness, impatience and frustration. Then anger will evaporate, replaced by concern and tenderness tinged with just a little bit of guilt. That moment is at the same time rock bottom and breathtaking height of being a parent. That moment is something I want to never lose.

Then, when my boys are teenagers and are actually TRYING to be misunderstood, I could REALLY mess with their minds by UNDERSTANDING them.

Halloween is my favorite holiday. First, it’s in the fall, which is my favorite season, (cold enough for soups, warm enough for long walks) (wow, that came out kitschy.) Second, it’s three days after my birthday, (yay, my birthday! Who hasn’t heard about my upcoming birthday yet? Outer Space, it’s my birthday!) And third, the costumes! I lurrrrve the costumes.

Those of you who read me regularly know that I’m a wannabe crafter. I want to be, but I can’t because I’m hopeless when it comes to the actual crafting. That doens’t mean I don’t waste my time reading craft blogs and daydreaming about the day the Angle of Skills will come to bestow some fine motor skills upon me.

On the up side, my journies through craftdome have rewarded you, beloved reader, with the gift of many Halloween related tips, crafts and easy-peasy costume ideas.

A good place to start is at Parent Hacks where you can gear up on hacks and tips from other parents, like swapping costumes instead of buying expensive ones that will only be worn for 10 minutes. From there you might want to head on to Rookie Moms for more thoughts and ideas on celebrating Halloween with babies.

If you wnat some inspiration, take a look at this chicken on etsy. Also on etsy, for you wacky colinary types, sushi costumes for baby.

Some simple costumes ideas and instructions can be found at wisegeek and at essortment. Also, there an article on how to turn a stuffed animal to a baby costume here. Sounds a bit… spooky to me, but hey - it is Halloween.

If you got some skillz, you might want to try making this adorable pucca costume at zakka life, or perhaps even attempt the reversable superhero costume at Puking Pastilles.

I hope you have a great holiday!

Photo credit: Stephanie Costa

I was more interested in looking into all the small gadget people invent around the baby industry. We are passionate about our children, and I think a lot of people, through the process of being a parent are coming up with different business ideas, I know I came up with one, this website.

For me, the coolest device I saw was this formula dispenser, still to be distributed in the UK. I always got confused when counting the spoons, preparing the bottles or filling the divider, and further more, always felt like a drug dealer, cutting up the cocaine for distribution (always thinking of Ray Liotta in “Goodfellas”). so here come this device, similar to the kind you see in coffee shop, where they use to dispense the coffee into the espresso machines. you simply decide how much formula you want to prepare and the machine dispense the correct amount. very handy, no more recounting of spoons and so on.

Wait, it gets better, Babywell, an Australian company (was not the show) have taken it one step further, they have created the ultimate “baby milk” espresso machine! Not only that it dispense the correct amount of formula powder and prepares the milk with the correct amount of bioled water, it is also a sterilizer for bottles and breast pump and a dispenser of clean boiled water, amazing! too bad it won’t feed the baby as well in the middle of the night.

I don’t if they plan to bring it to the UK, but if and when we are having another baby this is one gadget I am going to get.

Monday morning she had a slight fever, 37.5, we gave her some Ibuprofen and sent her to nursery. This morning, at our local coffee shop I’ve bumped into a mum from nursery, she said she thinks her son got the virus that been going around the nursery, which made me think, how many parents sends their kids to nursery with a slight fever and a hidden virus…..

I set out on building Babyfy.com about a year ago when looking for a double buggy. I was sure, that on the web I would find an online resource that will list, review and shed some light on all the available products out there,. Well, I was wrong.

There are lots of great parenting websites out there, lots of active and helpful message boards, but I couldn’t find a website that would help me, as a novice parent or any other parent and parent to be, understand which are the best products and services for you and your baby. So I decided to try and do it myself, and be the ultimate online resource for parents and parents to be.

I think the key thing about Babyfy is that we let parents review, grade and share information about products and services, allowing other parents to benefit form their experiences and thus help them attain a more educated decision when purchasing baby related products or services. We are not trying to sell anything, we are not affiliated with any retailer or manufacturer, we are here for parents and parents to be.

So, this blog will be about my experiences as a father, as an entrepreneur and as Babyfy’s Chief Baby Officer. The most important thing for me is your feedback. I encourage you to take an active part and share your reviews on products and services you have used. Please always feel free to contact me (ido dot pollak at babyfy dot com) with any comment or suggestion you may have. I hope you will share the enthusiasm of Babyfy with me.